'I Can't Bring You Here'
A Reddit user posted an open letter to the the unborn child she will abort next week.
The user scaredthrowingaway wrote a post Thursday titled “I am getting an abortion next Friday. An Open Letter to the Little Life I Won’t Get to Meet” and addresses her unborn child as “Little Thing.”
She says she isn’t ready to be a mother and she can only “wish the circumstances were different.”
“It breaks my heart that I don't feel the enchantment that I'm supposed to feel,” she wrote. “I am both sorry and not sorry.”
"I'm sad that I'll never get to meet you," she says. "You could have your father's eyes and my nose and we could make our own traditions, be a family. But, Little Thing, we will meet again. I promise that the next time I see that little blue plus, the next time you are in the same reality as me, I will be ready for you."
It is unclear how old the user is, but she admits she isn’t done growing herself:
“Little Thing, I want you to be happy. More than I want good things for myself, I want the best things for the future. That's why I can't be your mother right now. I am still growing myself. It wouldn't be fair to bring a new life into a world where I am still haunted by ghosts of the life I've lived. I want you to have all the things I didn't have when I was a child. I want you to be better than I ever was and more magnificent than I ever could be. I can't do to you what was done to me: Plant a seed made of love and spontaneity into a garden, and hope that it will grow on only dreams. Love and spontaneity are beautiful, but they have little merit. And while I have plenty of dreams to go around, dreams are not an effective enough tool for you to build a better tomorrow. I can't bring you here. Not like this.”
She promises that next time she is pregnant, she will be ready to be a mother.
“I love you, Little Thing, and I wish the circumstances were different,” she writes. “I promise I will see you again, and next time, you can call me Mom.”
Commenters have offered to adopt the unborn child.
“My husband and I will adopt your baby, cover it with love and care for it like it was our own. Just say the word, and we will help you,” writes Kztexas.
“Have you considered contacting an adoption attorney in your town?” another asks. “You could carry your precious baby to term with financial & emotional support & live in peace knowing that you gave them a beautiful life!”
Another user, Kab1980, took the opportunity to write an open letter back to the woman as her unborn child:
"Dear mom, Thanks for letting me know your plan for next Friday. I had really been planning on having a little more time with you. You see I'm just beginning to grow, but I think I'm going to be a really good kid for you. I hear the music that you hear, and I love it, I want to sing for you! I want to hold your hand and touch your face as you hold me and look into my eyes, and tell me that you love me, because I know that once you see me you will love me too. Mom, I want you to know that I am not a "little thing" I am a person, with feelings. I know you said next time you would keep me, but mom that won't be me, that would be my little brother or sister and I wouldn't be there to help take care of them. I know you said you are not ready for me, but I need you right now, please mommy let me love you."
Some users have offered support and written their own stories about abortion.
"I had an abortion at 17, which was 26 years ago," writes another user. "Now I have two beautiful children, and can totally relate to your sentiments. I could never have provided for a child at 17, and I don't regret my decision. Like you, I feel like I put motherhood on hold so that I could later be better equipped to be a good parent and provider."
Scaredthrowingaway thanked users for their support.
“Thank you, thank you, thank you. It is hard. I feel sick and awful for not wanting something that, at the same time, I want so badly,” she writes. “But I feel better knowing I’m not alone and now that I see it all written out, there’s less madness bumping around in my head, which is nice.”